Life's what you make it

Do you ever feel like life's unfair? Because today I do. Just realising that I just haven't the money to live my dream wrecked me. It's terrible and overwhelming. I see people around having all they want, success, money and they achieve their goal, crushing them one by one. But you know what. They worked for it. I have to accept this. Sure some have privileges since the beginning, but most of them are just like me. But they got themselves out there and worked hard for their success.
It's not that I want the fame and the money, I just wish I had the chance to do what I love and live from it. Unfortunately, doing what I love is not something that pays the bills. I like to write, I like to help people getting healthy but I lack the opportunities to doing it at such a rate that it would pay the bills. I'm not complaining (though I confess it really sounds like it) I'm just writing down everything I have inside my heart and looking at it is really humbling.
I need to work for what I want. And this work, for now, has to be a chore, something that I don't like doing, something unrelated to what I love because, I won't survive otherwise. We say that money doesn't buy you happiness. And it's true. It's one hundred percent true. Today I'm happy. Really. I spent a wonderful day with my mum and I'm really, really happy with myself and my inner struggles. But I'm also scared and ashamed because I don't have enough money to do what I love. I'm scared to go out there, on the quest for money. No, money isn't happiness. Or joy. But money sure does help you living your dreams.
I feel like it's really pessimistic when actually it's not. I'm not a material girl, though I like pretty things. I don't feel like I need expensive, fancy workout gear, workout shoes or anything. I just want to live my dreams. I know, it's kind of selfish to say so because everyone wants to live her dreams. I'm not lazy, I want to work for it. I just don't want to do something I hate until I have enough money to start doing what I really like. I realise I'm a spoiled child. But I'm ready to work hard for my dreams.